6wks4days...Heartbeat.

Well, yesterday with great anticipation, nervousness and excitement, we went to the fourth floor of the hospital to the Big Sky Women's Specialist office. A much different visit than any other before.

The first time we did this, I recall just being giddy. This time, on the way into the double doors, I told Todd, I think I'm going to puke. He asked if it was morning sickness or nerves, and I said probably both but mostly nerves. I didn't know what I'd do if there was no heartbeat.

Casper showed up just after we had, and she came into the lobby and gave us a hug, out of breath from taking the stairs. She smiled and said she'd see us back there. Shortly afterwards, Sarah came to the door to call our names. She doesn't really even have to call our names - we see her, and we get up. I gave her a big hug and she said congratulations again. The great thing is that they aren't overly happy and giddy, all of us with the realization of life and how quickly it can change and we all lived through it together when Emerson died.

We got all prepped and ready. Casper came in and gave us the reality check. We're early, really early. She doesn't like to do an ultrasound before seven weeks and prefers eight. It will probably look like a blob. I asked, "And what if there is no heartbeat." With all seriousness and not taking my question lightly, Casper said, there may not be, but that doesn't mean it is not a viable pregnancy - we'll check again in a week.

Thus we begin. My stomach was about to come out of my mouth. Todd held my hand, as he always has. I wanted to cry before it even began.

And then I looked up at the screen and there it was. The little blob beating. Beating fast. 164 beats per minute. A heartbeat. And arm and leg buds beginning to form. 0.74 cm, which measures out to be 6wks4days - exactly where we are.

Relief - we've made it over the first of many very large mountains.

May God bless us and hold us through this very long process. And may Emerson's spirit guide our way...for the next 32 weeks and beyond.

The next mountain - 12 week visit with genetic testing.